One of the most common questions I get asked when people are struggling to quit drinking is:
It can be really demoralising when you end up drinking yet again, after promising yourself repeatedly that you’re done –
and especially when it doesn’t even do much for you anymore except leave you with a banging headache, writhing in a swamp of anxiety and shame.
If you’re reading this post then the chances are you’re contemplating stopping drinking.
Maybe alcohol is only just starting to become a problem for you or maybe it’s wreaking havoc in your life. But whatever stage you are at, you’re likely to be experiencing a certain amount of fear.
This is totally normal and happens when we try to change anything.
The subconscious part of our brain works on a very basic principle – avoid pain and move towards pleasure.
It has no concept of time – it lives purely in the moment. And for your subconscious brain – alcohol equals pleasure and living without it equals pain and uncertainty
So as soon as you start to think about stopping drinking, this part of your brain anticipates the discomfort it’s going to feel and churns out endless reasons not to try: Continue Reading
If you are along the anxious attachment spectrum you will get ‘activated’ within close relationships. This means that your stress response system is constantly triggered. You will scan for signs of abandonment and tend not to trust other people’s motives. Because there is always a heightened sense of anxiety, you will probably struggle with worrying about what other people are thinking, doing, feeling and can end up looking for excessive reassurance. You will often feel a sense of unease and this can result in:
In my last post, I talked about the link between addiction and connection – or lack of it. And how our earliest experiences shape the way our brains develop and generate a specific ‘attachment’ style.
Knowing your attachment style and how it affects your thoughts feelings and behaviours can provide an incredible sense of relief. It can help you to start making sense of the struggles that you have and can give you a focus of how to work through them.
Attachment theory is fast becoming the leading theory on why we are prone to a whole host of psychological issues including depression, anxiety, relationship conflict and addiction. Attachment theory is not new; it has been around for decades. But what IS new is the validation it now has from research in neuroscience.
So what is it exactly?
In a nutshell, the type of attachment bond we have with our caregivers in the first few years of life dictates how we live, love and learn for the rest of our lives. Or as John Bowlby, the father of attachment theory, said “from the cradle to the grave” [Read more…]
Well let’s look at the options; you can do one of five things
So I assume if you are still reading you’ve probably tried options 1-4 numerous times before and perhaps they didn’t end so well? In that case, read on and look at what you need to do to get through this relapse. [Read more…]
What is your anger trying to tell you?“Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” – Aristotle
Anger is one of the most frequently cited reasons for why people relapse back to addictive behaviours. Anger can be such an intense emotion that when triggered, all rational thought is lost, the logical brain gets hijacked and the emotional brain takes over. In such a highly charged intense state it’s easy to press the F*** it button and throw recovery out of the window. It is very normal to experience anger in recovery as in the past you would likely have numbed or suppressed it through drugs and alcohol. Once the anaethetizing effects of substances are no longer an option, anger and all its variations, – frustration, irritability, annoyance, impatience and intolerance So how can you learn to manage your anger? Classic anger management techniques might tell you to beat a pillow with a baseball bat, scream and shout until you’ve worn yourself out or count to ten and breathe through the anger until it subsides. However, while these techniques may help to calm you down temporarily, they don’t do anything about the underlying cause of the anger. [Read more…]
Sheena has recently joined Recovery From Addiction as our trainee counsellor.
She is currently studying for a Masters in Counselling through Monash University, Australia, and aims to have completed her studies by early 2018.
Sheena’s interests lie in attachment theory and how early childhood experiences create vulnerabilities for addiction, anxiety and depression. Her own experience with anxiety and depression allows her to bring a deep non-judgmental understanding and empathy to her client work . She helps to empower clients by addressing the limiting beliefs and emotional difficulties that prevent them moving forward to a better life.
Sheena is currently based in Ottawa, Canada, where she lives with her husband and two children.
As part of her on-going training, Sheena is available to provide sessions at a reduced rate. Please contact us if you would like more information.
There is no single effective treatment for addiction and any facility or treatment professional who claims otherwise needs to be given a wide berth. Addiction arises from a multitude of biological, psychological, social and spiritual reasons and can vary in nature and severity from person to person. Effective treatment needs to take into account what is driving and maintaining the addiction for each person individually, and use interventions which specifically target the underlying problems. In effect, you need to treat the person not just the addiction.
You probably know this cycle well. You promise yourself that you are going to stop. You do well for a few days, a month or even longer then for some reason, you find yourself back in the pub, calling your dealer or getting a bottle of wine on the way home from work. The next morning, after a night of excess, you wake up to those excruciating feelings of shame, anxiety, self-loathing and remorse as you try to remember what you did and said or maybe you are acutely aware of what you did and are trying to work out how to execute damage control. Again you swear that this is it, you are definitely never going to drink or use again. Until the next time.
